PRAISE BEFORE MY BREAKTHROUGH
Have you ever had a prayer in your heart so full of desire and hope? Do you know the honest desperation of lifting it, whatever it is, up to God; all the while claiming the promise that in ALL circumstances, HE IS GOOD? But what about the long pauses in between prayers getting answered, when hope begins to feel further and further away and doubt moves in like an unwelcome roommate who refuses to pay rent? What is the antidote to a weary spirit when faith, once so strong and unwavering, begins to shake?
I am now convinced I know the cure in the midst of disappointment:
I must praise before my breakthrough.
I initially had a totally different blog post to write about today, but as I am currently struggling with the wait before a certain breakthrough, I felt, what better a time to write authentically? Also, I am preaching to my heart as my fingers hit the keyboard; ohh Lord help me! You see, owning and running a business isn’t always as glamorous as they make it look in the movies. I believe my official role is “Professional Problem Solver.” Lea, my business partner, and I are constantly putting out little and big fires, pushing past obstacles, and hanging on faith and prayers to move forward and nurture this infant of a venture into what we are confident will one day be a full grown and thriving adult, self sufficient and giving generously back to the community.
But as all entrepreneurs know, to see this very big dream fulfilled, while immensely gratifying, most definitely comes with its own string of (often spontaneous) setbacks. For my Type A - must control ALL - personality, queue the perfect time for God to come in and do a work of trust and patience in me. Ahhhh, not my favorite thing, albeit very necessary in growth and character not-just-development, but thriving. Looking back on all the obstacles we have overcome, it is much easier to count lessons learned and find gratitude in hindsight. But in all honesty, each time I go through a new trial, I have a new choice: Allow myself to become swept up in worry or do my best with what’s in my control and trust that God will handle the rest for my good and His glory.
While the latter is the goal, for a control-freak like me it goes against the grain of my DNA, that running checklist in my mind that must have every box ticked on time and to the exact logistics I had planned for. And of course when life doesn’t work out in the expected (as it so often tends to do!), the resolve to rise above fear and anxiety in surrender to the One who knows best is always BEST. In times of uncertainty, in the spaces between prayer and answered prayer, we must stand on God’s promise that when we trust in Him with all of our heart and lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge Him, He will direct our paths.
And even now, as I begin to pull out what I KNOW to be true on the Word of God rather than what I feel in moments of doubt, the fear and anxiety already begins to dissipate. With all the potential troubles in the world, more than ever, our grounding must be firm. Even before entering the promised land, we must prophesy the promise! And the everlasting promise is that you are safe in His arms, that there is no weapon formed against you that will prosper, that you have been given a mind of power, love, and self control and most importantly… above any and all things, God has given you HIMSELF. HE is the greatest breakthrough. And as I look upon the glory of His face, the big troubles in my life seem little and fear and anxiety squirm back into the dirt where they belong and I am victorious.
And that is something to praise about.
I know the tension of the now
I don't always understand
I don't always get to see
When I'm holding up my hands
When I'm counting every breath
Lord, all I need to know is
You choose me
You choose me
I'll praise before my breakthrough
'Til my song becomes my triumph
I will sing because I trust You
I will bring my heart, I will lift my song
-Praise Before My Breakthrough, Bryan and Katie Torwalt