DEAR MEAN GIRLS...
You step into the doorway clutching the veggie assortment you brought for the potluck meal. It's a brand new city and you figured the best way to make new friends was to dive into community. As you round the corner and see a group of new faces, you gulp down nerves and take each forward step in the hopes of making at least one friend before you leave. After a round of "hello's", you reach the last girl in the corner of the room. As you extend a smile, your greeting is abruptly shut down with a grim expression as her eyes scale your outfit from top to bottom. You feel stripped naked; like the object of a 90's pop band poster that one may roll their eyes at in personal distaste. You try your best to shrug off the ice cold interaction and pick at your dinner, but can't help but notice the girl actively avoiding any engagement with you. Fear of isolation shrinks down the initial hope that inspired you to attend the event in the first place. The girl figures you aren't aware of the frequent side eye thrown your way in between bites of salad. But you can see. And it's not a pretty sight to be judged without being known.
Ladies, can we talk seriously for a minute? Because the above narrative, while a true story, isn't an anomaly. The comparison game started sometime in middle school and seems to have never ended. The result? Girls who look like women. While outwardly we swear we have matured, the childish propensity to put down others as a means of elevating ourselves suggests otherwise. We SnapChat stories and post Facebook pictures of #GirlsNight and #Sisterhood only to promote gossip and slander behind the backs of the very women we claim to love. Walking hypocrites in high heels.
This damaging behavior is so the norm that it is often reflected in mainstream reality shows like The Bachelor and The Real Housewives of [every city]. When did it become socially acceptable to pile twenty five women in a room to desperately vie for their chance to make out with one spoiled man? When did the scale of one's lavish lifestyle become an accurate measure of joy and fulfillment? We excuse the shocking performances and chalk it up to social entertainment. But I find that the most poisonous lies are often the most subtle ones that slowly creep in, ultimately destroying your own self awareness.
It is a dangerous lie to believe that by putting down other women, you are somehow elevating yourself. If anything, this juvenile behavior proves the perpetrator's little to no regard for her own value as a daughter of The King. The truth is that each one of us is "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14) God says that "you are altogether beautiful; there is no flaw in you." (Song of Songs 4:7) This is true for EVERY WOMAN; regardless of cultural background, social status, or physical appearance.
You see, when you belittle another woman, you belittle the innate treasure you are. To judge or cast out another creation of God is to say that you yourself as an invaluable part of creation is undeserving of basic respect and honor.
Girls vs. Women; there is a BIG difference:
Girls judge; Women encourage.
Girls exclude; Women embrace.
Girls compare; Women empower.
Which one are you?
Xoxo, Diwa Doll
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