Ever since I was a little girl I have had a love affair with dresses. The poofier, the better. I remember at about age five my mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and without a moment's hesitation I answered, "A princess." Even at such a young age, there was a desire growing inside me to be a part of some grand story in which I would be the leading lady. Stasi Eldridge in her book Captivating says, “We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil.” I don't know about you but for me, this rings so true. 

Flash forward a couple decades and that longing to be an irreplaceable character in an epic journey continues to tug at my heart strings. No wonder when Duchess Kate married Prince William, no matter what time zone, the world held bated breath while longingly staring at their television screen (Insert mental note to watch the latest Netflix series "The Crown"; I hear great things!). When I think of royalty, sovereign power, unprecedented grace and elegance come to mind. As a princess, you are an heir to a golden name that can never be taken away from you, although you did nothing to earn it. While I long to be a princess the full truth is that more often than not, I feel more like a pauper with a counterfeit identity. 

I used to have this terrifying recurring dream. There was this noble and good King who lived in a lavish castle. He was pacing around distraught and ran outside where he mounted his horse and sped down to the village. There was a deep sense of remorse and urgency. The dream flashed forward to a dark alley tucked away. It was filthy with trash and full of unexpected danger lurking around every corner. I began to notice a girl covered in dirt digging around and hiding in the gutter. To my shock, the King jumped off his horse and ran straight to the girl, gently coaxing her with kind words off the ground and into his arms. The girl turned towards me and to my horror I recognized her face. The girl was me. I held my breath as I watched the King carry her on his horse and back to castle. Upon arrival he dismissed the servants and himself bathed her in perfume and dressed her in fine garments. I was confused because instead of anger and frustration on his face was pure compassion and love at her return. She must be his princess, I thought to myself. Finally, the King revealed the most exquisite crown and tenderly laid it on her head. They both fell into the sweetest embrace full of forgiveness and in that moment, all had been washed clean and all wrong had been forgotten. 

The reason I share this dream is that the very behavior of this girl has marked my own brokenness for most of my life. As a believer in Christ saved by His grace, His spotless Name has been put on me and I have become His adopted princess. 1 Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." This is the truth, and yet more often than not, the reality is that most times my insecurities, anxieties, and doubts seem much bigger and louder. And in these moments, I am guilty of running. Running from the truth of my salvation and who I already am in Christ: Chosen. Royal. Holy. Special. Light. 

I have a feeling this very thing resonates with many of you as well. I want you to know that you are not alone. I hear you and know exactly how bleak the struggle for identity can feel. But even more promising is that the King of whole Universe not only hears you and knows you. He CHOSE you. Did you know that you are the only thing God was foolish enough to die for? That's how loved you are. That's how bottomless the price to ransom you cost. And if Duchess Kate didn't have to lift a finger to earn her crown, then surely you are eternally secure in your royal inheritance! 

Personally, not having to work for my royal status is the biggest relief! No matter how many times you slip up or run back to the gutter, God is always eager to forgive and wash you clean with His Presence. You are forever declared His Princess. I guess that's why He had to wear a crown of thorns when he was being mocked on the way to the cross. So that today, you and I can confidently put on the royal crown of His salvation. And in the times of weakness when you fall to the darkness in this world and think you are a pauper, you can (and will!) be empowered to get back up, stand tall, and declare the truth over the lies.  

Wear your crown proud, beloved; you are fully known and fully loved just as you are.


Xoxo, Diwa Doll


Dress: Wear The Paint


Photography: Edo Photo Media